Survivor: Cook Islands

The Race War Will Be Televised 08.24.06

All I can say is, God bless Mark Burnett.

Now We're Cooking! 10.09.06

It's hard to decide which is worse: watching the new season of Survivor: Cook Islands, or having to live with myself after making that terrible pun.

Too Many Cooks 10.16.06

After watching the 90-minute Flavor of Love finale last night, I take back every negative thing I've said about Survivor. Or about having a car battery attached to your genitals.

Kiss the Cook 10.26.06

The Survivor column is super late this week. My LA trip wreaked total havoc with my writing schedule. Who knew?

The Mowgli Effect 11.06.06

On Survivor, you should always vote for someone who's an obvious threat – especially if he's an arrogant asshole. You can't abandon that course just because he demonstrates proficiency in the jungle.

Creating a stupid twist just adds confusion to an existing strategic minefield. But it does reveal the players for who they really are. Or, as Coach Probst would put it, "Jameson, getting astonished by Candice's unparalleled stupidity!"

Fierce Bottle 11.20.06

What did I say about twists? Did I neglect to mention that sometimes they are awesome? Because, dude, seriously... you don't even know!

Where We Stand 12.07.06

Here it is! The most belated Survivor column in this site's history! Take it or leave it!

Wrong About Jon 12.13.06

We're past the point in Survivor where I stop caring about who I want to win and start caring about who I want to lose. Candice and Nate have lost, so I'm satisfied – and, like in the Oscar pool, apathy breeds contentment, and an odd Zen-like clarity.

Below the Parvati Line 12.15.06

Yul's game continues to unravel, and we're going into the finale with five people instead of four. This is going to be a very difficult endgame to predict.