Survivor: Guatemala

Meet the Survivors 08.12.05

With any luck, this year's Survivor columns will be the snarkiest and most derisive ever.

Actually Meet the Survivors 09.20.05

A scorpion battles a tarantula, a snake eats a monkey, and Probst announces the start of yet another Survivor. In 39 days, that monkey's friends will be calling him the luckiest monkey ever.

Labor Dispute 09.27.05

Survivor gets down and dirty as teams battle in the muck for survival, and evidently they don't hand out those "Football Chick" shirts to just anyone.

Amy twists her ankle, Lydia pulls at our heartstrings, and Danni takes a pole to the head – again, and again, and again. The Survivor infirmary would be overflowing – except they have a dirty mud pit where their infirmary should be.

Can't Beat 'Em? Conmix 'Em! 10.11.05

Mixing the teams up pre-merge just because they're not producing compelling Tribal Council votes. It's been a Survivor tradition ever since Burnett hired Brett Buerck.

Vote or Die 10.17.05

In Probst's world, Survivor is a two-party system, and Danni is Jim Jeffords. Also: ticks, crocodiles, and monkeys. It's, like, a jungle out there!

Sulking is Not a Strategy 10.24.05

Yikes, the twists! Probst imposes two TribCons on the remaining members of Survivor: Guatemala. If you ask me, they should've had three, or even four!

We Are Family 11.01.05

Birthday parties, oozing wounds, and all, the remaining contestants traipse into the gaping maw of the mid-game merge.

Baby Idol: No Holds Barred 11.14.05

Desperate as they all were to get to the merge, nobody on Survivor seems to have a competent, viable strategy for surviving the chaos that follows it. They're all flailing wildly, making whatever deals they can.

Footballer's Lies 12.01.05

There's a difference between lying and playing strategically, but the moral choice is seldom the successful one. In some cases, the liars can portray themselves as strategists while painting the strategists as outright liars.

Playing It Coup 12.05.05

The Survivor kids are getting punchy, devising all sorts of wild schemes to upend the power structure. Well, it's something to do.

Law & Order: Guatemala 12.12.05

The Survivor finale culminates in a Tribal Council in which you must present your case to the jury, and suddenly it helps to be a good backpedaler.