Thu, May 15, 2008

Fox has a big pile of new shows for you to enjoy this coming season.

Sit Down, Shut Up

A: Animated comedy about high school teachers in a small fishing town.

B: Behind-the-scenes laffer set in a talk radio studio, with bellicose on-air personalities and the various supporting characters who do their best to avoid being crushed.

When Women Rule the World

A: Three thirtysomething bachelors who are lifelong friends wake up one day to find a world in which major gender roles are reversed. In typical Fox fashion, this means pillow fights in the White House and bra-and-panty sleepovers in the boardrooms of major corporations.

B: Animated comedy in which Amazon she-monsters arrive from another planet and go about righting the wrongs of our chauvinistic society. The first episode features an extended musical number during a burqa-burning ceremony.

The Cleveland Show

A: Nathan Lane stars as a dimwitted cable-access TV host in Cleveland who reports on local stories and points of interest in a low-budget show with many comic shortcomings.

B: Cleveland, the token black guy from Family Guy, leaves his wife and moves in with an old flame after her husband ditches her. (Legal note: "Moving in" is a registered trademark of every crappy sitcom concept in history.)

Dollhouse

A: Another Fox reality show based around the idea of excessive cosmetic surgery. "Contestants" live in a house together, and receive a living doll when they arrive. They mold the doll into the appearance they desire for themselves, and get boob jobs and facelifts to match. Then they go on dates with men who vote for which girl is the sexiest.

B: A young sexpot works in an underground temp agency, hired out to conduct all sorts of illegal misdeeds, then placed into cold storage with her memory erased when she returns. But this one is starting to remember things...

Fringe

A: Supernatural mystery show about unexplained scientific phenomena and the insane scientist genius and his son who must help the FBI understand what's going on.

B: Goofy multi-camera sitcom about a cell of swarthy terrorists that operate a persian rug emporium as a front for their nefarious plotting.

Do Not Disturb (formerly The Inn)

A: Three supermodels and a midget must run a country inn for the summer season and see how much money they can make. (Slated for midseason, Fox hasn't yet decided if it will be reality or sitcom.)

B: Behind the scenes of an upscale hotel with a misfit staff who are constantly involved in some sort of silly hijinks. (Celebrity guests can check in and out when sweeps season arrives.)

Secret Millionaire

A: Dating reality show in which 15 girls compete for the attention of three millionaires, two of whom are actually dirt poor. To reach the final episode, they must narrow themselves down to three couples who have promised to get married live on Fox next spring. The identity of the real millionaire will be revealed at the wedding.

B: A reality show in which millionaires dress up like regular people and try to live in their midst for a few days, subsisting on their meager earnings. When that's over, before their private jet whisks them back to their luxury island, they fling a few hundred grand at whichever luckless ragamuffin tugged at their heartstrings the most.

Answers: Sit Down, Shut Up: A; When Women Rule the World: neither!*; The Cleveland Show: B; Dollhouse: B; Fringe: A; Do Not Disturb: B; Secret Millionaire: B

*When Women Rule the World was on the list, but was pulled before I got an answer about its actual synopsis. Still, chances are good that one of my guesses is probably the real one.

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