Mon, October 22, 2007

Samantha Who?

ABC, Mondays at 9:30

Christina Applegate stars as Samantha, who reminds you of the Kim Cattrall Samantha in just about every way. She drinks too much; she sleeps around; she's bitterly dismissive to everyone. The only difference is that Applegate's version has an indoor voice and is 25 years younger. But, after a hit-and-run accident leaves her in a coma for eight days, she awakens with no memory of her former life. She can still speak English and all that, but she's forgotten her family, her friends, and her various romantic partners. (Also, oddly, she's forgotten the concept of air-kissing. Not sure about that one.)

So, like Harrison Ford in Regarding Henry, she is quickly horrified with her old self and wants to make things right. If I were her, the first thing I'd do is ditch Andrea (Jennifer Esposito), her cartoonishly malevolent former best friend and bad influence. Considering Esposito gets second billing in the show's credits, we can assume she'll be sticking around. Evidently, the writers believe there's more comedy to be mined from Sam's best intentions colliding with Andrea's worst. There's not.

Applegate delivers an entertaining performance, conveying Sam's disorientation and panic with an appealing sweetness. In her freak-out moments (and the pilot requires that she have a few), she channels Jennifer Aniston's Rachel Greene (her former sitcom sister). But in general, she's great. Kevin Dunn (who was 15 when Applegate was born) plays her father with cheery sarcastic apathy. He's also great. Everyone else is trying a little too hard to give the show a "wacky hijinks" vibe that it really doesn't need. Like Earl Hickey trying to find his way in a metaphysical universe, her quest of self-discovery would have been plenty. The show piles it on with crazy characters and goofball antics, as well as blisteringly unnecessary narration, and title cards ("My Parents," "My Apartment") complete with those whooshing sound effects that are poised to replace "needle scratches across record" at the top of the Pointless Hackneyed Sound Cues chart, as soon as the last 35 people who have ever heard of a record needle die off.

The show is not unwatchable. In the Trying Too Hard Olympics, it would be grossly overshadowed by Back to You. But it's less fun than it could have been, and it fails to live up to the considerable comic chops that Applegate was developing in secret while America was too busy watching her boobs jiggle on Married: With Children to notice.

Viva Laughlin

CBS, Sundays at 8:00

When I first heard of this concept – a casino owner and his family who routinely break into song – I thought it sounded like a terrible idea. I could never have imagined how poorly it would be carried off. I figured it would be like a musical, where the characters occasionally drop everything and sing. Then I heard they would be singing rock songs, not original numbers, so I figured it would be sort of like karaoke. I would never have guessed that they'd be singing along with the rock songs. As special guest star and co-producer Hugh Jackman swings in to the tune of the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil," he croons right over Mick. What's the point of this?

Most of middle America doesn't watch the Tonys, and is not prepared for an all-singing, all-dancing Van Helsing. While Jackman is destroying his heterosexual cred with those people, the show's protagonist (the improbably named Ripley Holden – it anagrams to "Oh, Pliny Elder," can that be why?) watches from the sidelines. He and his accountant are rolling their eyes like, "Get a load of this guy. Storms in and starts dancing on our tables!" This is profoundly disorienting. In a musical, when the singing starts, everyone suddenly knows the words and has the dance steps memorized. And then when the song is over, everyone returns to their conversations without missing a beat. Nobody sits aside and says, "Why are you guys singing?" It ruins the concept. It's just not done.

Usually the songs in musicals also have something to do with the subject the characters are talking about. Since Viva Laughlin isn't writing its own songs, you would think that they would take one of two approaches to this problem: a) gently modify the lyrics of the songs to fit their needs, á la "Mamma Mia!" or b) ignore the fact that occasionally the specific lyrics don't refer to the specific scene, but in a general, metaphorical sense the song is "about" the same thing. Instead, they take the lyrics more literally than Kattan and Parnell in matching gym shorts and headbands. When Holden and his former paramour (played by Melanie Griffith, because CBS hates us all) start singing along to Blondie's "One Way or Another," they have to inexplicably trade verses because sometimes Debbie Harry is singing "I'll getcha" and sometimes she's singing "I'll lose ya." Yeah, it doesn't make sense for former lovers to be singing this stuff to each other. Maybe pick a different song – one that's actually about that!

While they're not singing, characters are driving across town to vaguely taunt each other and recap key story points, then driving away. A lot of people drive, walk, or run away in order to punctuate a point they're making. It seems in the CW merger, CBS has acquired joint access to the fabled WB Scene Leave. Meanwhile, even though a grisly murder has taken place in the new casino and the casino owner is the prime suspect, the casino's renovation proceeds according to plan. Dozens of workers come and go without any trouble. (Also, can a multi-million dollar casino renovation really be accomplished by mere dozens of workers?)

I would be convinced Viva Laughlin was conceived and green-lit entirely as a front to hide some bad debt, with its assaults on logic and common sense, its terrible singing and choreography, and its casting of Melanie Griffith in a speaking role. But apparently its predecessor was a huge hit in England. The folks who'll happily eat a roasted pig kidney stuffed inside a sheep bladder gave it the thumbs-up – what's not to like?

Returning This Week

Scrubs: NBC, Thursday at 9:30

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