Fri, May 25, 2007

I never expected to augment the Annual TiVo Gauntlet of New Fall Programming with all this upfront coverage, but it's been kind of fun. In fact, the ATGoNFP may undergo some further renovation, since the networks seem hell-bent on eschewing the old "premiere season" style and launching shows on all sorts of dates. (And with the Survivor column dying, what else will I have to do?)

I've been thinking about it, and I think TV coverage has gotten kind of out of hand. Leaving aside trades like "Variety" and consumer-trades like "Entertainment Weekly", it used to be that we just got a recap in the paper in September about what new shows were about to come on. The upfronts were attended by media buyers and didn't make the news, certainly not as a week-long extravaganza. Remember last fall, how Yahoo! TV and all the networks had up countless clips and profiles so we could start forming our opinions on the new shows early? That was great for me (and by "me" I mean the ATGoNFP, and thereby, you) but it's got to be hell for the network suits. The earlier and more intense the focus on their upcoming shows, the greater the pressure to make them blockbuster hits from the start. If we've been griping about Cavemen for months, it's going to need spectacular ratings to survive the first three episodes. Not that I care about Cavemen or the anxiety level of the average ABC exec – but panicky executives greenlight safer shows, and then we all suffer.

What's the solution? Direct-to-DVD TV? Micropayments? If everyone watching Veronica Mars sent in a dollar a week, could we buy enough ad time to keep it on? Maybe the whole thing will bottom out (The War at Home: pretty close) and we'll get all our TV from YouTube. Something tells me it won't be quite the same.

Anyway, here's what Fox will be airing between baseball and American Idol. (Theoretically that is. If a tree falls in the forest...)

Comedies

Back to You is the Kelsey Grammer/Patricia Heaton sitcom about news anchors with a relationship past. Fred Willard also stars. I've actually been anticipating this one, mainly for the bona fides of its cast. But I'm also wary: Fox has had about as much success with live action comedies as their competition has had with animation. I'll keep my fingers crossed – for me at least, they can coast a bit longer on the goodwill of airing three seasons of Arrested Development.

Rules for Starting Over is produced by Peter and Bobby Farrelly, and follows a guy who's returning to the dating scene after a long-term relationship ends. We don't need any more sitcoms with concepts, but the casting of Rashida Jones indicates a commitment to quality. (And indicates I probably should've watched last week's Office finale before reading so much about TV.)

Return of Jezebel James violates my sitcom title rule, and my sitcom concept rule (convincing your estranged sister to be your surrogate womb takes so much effort – just sit around in a bar, why don't you?). But it stars Parker Posey. I'd watch her do anything (except be on Will & Grace) – let's hope this show dies fast so she can get back to movies.

Dramas

K-ville: in my alternate-reality fall season, this would be a show about Duke students camping out for basketball tickets. Sadly, it's actually a cop show set in post-Katrina New Orleans. America has already forgotten about post-Katrina New Orleans, which means this show might require an unnatural suspension of disbelief. Remember Invasion? Neither does the rest of the country.

New Amsterdam is billed as a sci-fi/cop show about a homicide detective who is secretly hundreds of years old and tired of being alive. Doesn't this sound more like a CBS show? Specifically, Matlock? This is the season CBS goes after a younger demo, and Fox an older one. Oddly, CBS thinks it'll woo kids with shows about their parents having sex, and Fox thinks the oldsters will tune in to watch a guy craving the sweet release of death.

The Sarah Connor Chronicles follows a mental patient as she tries to protect her son from killer robots sent from the future. (See? Even one of our generation's most resonant film franchises sounds weird in a TV pitch.) Anyway, the helmer of this one is Josh Friedman, whom I can say without reservation is the world's greatest blogging screenwriter (and, perhaps not coincidentally, its least prolific). So, sure it might be bad, but it will be all the network's fault.

Canterbury's Law (ZZZzzzzzz....) Seriously, if you're going to try to feed off Grey's Anatomy with a subconscious [Blah]'s [Blah] association, you're going to need to do a lot better than Canterbury. I won't consider tuning in for anything less attention-grabbing than "Sideboob's Law".

Because it hasn't earned "major network" status on its own yet, CW held its upfronts on the same day. The only reason to watch was to determine the fate of Veronica Mars. We know how that went. They decided to keep and retool One Tree Hill – a show so bogged down by treacly WB-style teen drama that even my sister quit watching it – and let Veronica go.

Comedy

Aliens in America is about a withdrawn Wisconsin teenager and the relationship that develops with a Pakistani Muslim teenager who comes to live with the family as an exchange student. This is the first sitcom premise with the phrase "moves in" this year, a stark drop from 2003, when 50% of the new sitcoms hinged on some variation of this idea. As a nuanced exploration of outsiderhood, I think ABC could pull this off (and they're basically trying, with Cavemen), but CW? I don't know. The last socially relevant sitcom they attempted was Desmond Pfeiffer.

Dramas

Gossip Girl follows privileged teenagers attending elite Manhattan private schools. Will this be better than Veronica Mars? Not a chance – and you have to build all new sets. Good call, CW.

Reaper follows a young man who works for Satan, reclaiming souls who have escaped from Hell. Will this be better than Veronica Mars (or, for that matter, even Angel)? Impossible – and you're shelling out for pricey CG "Satan" effects. Smooth move, CW.

Life Is Wild follows a big city veterinarian to a South African game preserve, where he drags his new wife and their two sets of children along with him. Born Free Brady Bunch! I swear, this is the sort of thing I write when I'm making fun of TV show pitches.

Out of 24 new shows we profiled last season, I'm still watching three. (It would be five, but cancellations took care of two more.) Fully 15 of those shows have been canceled (plus at least another half dozen that started and ended since then). Looking at the 30 that we've profiled so far this spring, there are ten "maybes" for me, and no definite "yes" shows. It will be very interesting to see where we are at this point next year.

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