Mon, May 14, 2007

NBC unveiled its fall season today. Actually, expect this to change between now and the fall, because this is pretty terrible.

They canceled Studio 60, of course. Deal or No Deal is getting a second night. No hard feelings, America. I'll see you in hell.

The only new show with any traction this year was Heroes, so they've decided to prove once and for all that they cannot help but shoot themselves in the foot:

NBC will add "Heroes: Origins." The spinoff will introduce a new character each week, and viewers will select which one stays for the following season.

Oh holy Jesus, this is the end of days. Just what television needs, more voting. Why confine it to reality programming? Is there no one left in television who doesn't have his head up his ass? Wait, don't answer that. Also on NBC this fall, a remake of The Bionic Woman, a rehash of Quantum Leap (crossed with a rehash of Early Edition), and a rehash of all those unsuccessful Sex and the City rehashes. Also, NBC has finally answered America's clamoring for a TV version of Johnny Mnemonic.

Just one sitcom, and it's held in reserve to replace whichever of the above fails first: a rehash of The Office (crossed with CBS's failure, Dweebs). Apparently, America really hates comedies, or every comedy writer in Hollywood has run out of good ideas. How else to explain it – micromanaging executives with a tin ear for humor?

My TiVo is going to have so much free space, I may just forgo the 30 Rock DVDs and keep this season on the hard drive.

© onebee · all rights reserved