Tue, April 17, 2007
Condo Politics—10:14 PM
At some point, I'm sure all of these posts will silently disappear from this site, because of some "dooce"-style behind-the-scenes intrigue. But I'm trying to keep them vague and brief, so hopefully that day won't come for a long time.
Just know that if you ever have the chance to become your condo association board's youngest director by a 30-year margin, you should do it. It is a wild scene, and you will learn things about the way people think that will amaze you. Your concept of "trivial minutiae" will be forever expanded. The decision-making process will reveal new and untold realms of circular logic. Hysteria and panic will coat the walls.
Also, you will close down the library's community room on every occasion. Pack a snack; it may go all night.
All this is to say: I know your teeth are gnashing. You demand meandering, insincere apologies for the lack of Survivor columns; you've learned to expect those apologies in regular increments, and I've been holding back. You deserve your apologies! But you won't get them from me. All I'll say is that yet again Burnett has started packing the jury box before the official merge, which makes no fucking sense whatsoever. Say the final two comes down to Stacy and Boo. How does Rocky vote? Aside from challenges, he hasn't laid eyes on either person since he helped them build a shelter he also never saw again! How would Lisi choose between Earl and Yau-Man? It's fucking preposterous, I tell you!
Next: I'm getting a waterproof wireless keyboard and monitor installed in my shower. In the last few weeks, I've written half a review of Blades of Glory, a paragraph or two on immigration, a few choice lines on the whole music DRM hoo-ha, and other great bons mots in there, but by the time I'm toweled off afterward, it's all forgotten. So, I'll either need a few thousand dollars worth of customized technology to transport the onebee experience into that fertile, steamy factory of ideas – or I'll just do like the cosmonauts and use a pencil.
