Thu, December 7, 2006
onebee Winter Update—9:58 AM
Quick Hits! – uh... Some Things That Have Been on My Mind:
Three days a week – at least – I wake up with thoughts of terminating onebee. I just mention this because it's something I've been thinking about. I don't say this as a threat (believe me, it won't happen) or to solicit telegrams of encouragement. (In fact, any e-mail or comments on the subject will be deleted, after I've read them.) Every now and then, I get to a point where I have a half dozen articles partly finished, but none of them is inspiring me to get the job done. Then I look at the pile of books I don't have time to read and the pages of TiVo shows I don't have time to watch and I wonder if it's time to re-prioritize. As with most things, I think the answer is to sleep less.
Why do we still have Oscar categories for Best Actor and Best Actress, separately? I don't like the way the Globes separate drama from comedy (so many movies have a little of both), but that would make more sense than separating men from women. Is the point that there are different roles for men and women? If so, Felicity Huffman should've been nominated for Best Actor in Transamerica. John Travolta won't be getting a nod for Hairspray, but if he did, it should be as Best Actress. I'm not talking about Tootsie, but in roles that are completely male or completely female, the performer should be in the appropriate category, if the point of the Actor/Actress split is to honor both types of roles. If, instead, it's to create a WNBA-style second tier in which girls can still compete, I think that's dumb.
At what point do you start writing on your blog about someone you're dating? (The very act of posing this question should make someone eternally undatable, but I've made my peace with being too geeky to love.) I think the answer is probably "never," or possibly, "after you're married." Too many opportunities for disaster. At what point does she start reading your blog? Does she peruse the archives? If so, is it allowable for you to give her a list of the best links? Can I be dumped for something I wrote online three years ago? Some bloggers out there must have written accounts of these situations; I'll have to hit Google and see what I can find.
The Survivor column. I tried a new strategy this year to avoid burnout by diving into the season a few episodes late. It hasn't worked. I think mainly I'm just really bad on a deadline. I should take this as an opportunity to get better about that. My choices last night were to stay up super-late and catalogue the last two episodes or just wait another week. I think rest is the best chance to nip this head cold in the bud, so I stuck with that. Plus, all signs point to a non-TribCon week tonight, so hopefully I won't be that far behind when I write Monday's column over the weekend. It's been a pretty fantastic season, though. Already, the greatest moment in Survivor history has been surpassed by Candice's line last week: "That is wrong! That's coming out at Tribal." Ah, Hall Monitor Probst. He's like Santa – they can't stop believing in him.
(Update!: I got to work and had a few minutes, and now I'm most of the way through one possible version of today's Survivor column. So, stay tuned! Maybe it'll be posted
beforeshortly after lunch.)(Update Again: You guys totally understood I meant lunch on the west coast, right?)
Joe Mulder — Thu, 12/7/06 2:35pm
I can answer these questions from experience:
1) Never.
2) No.
Please don't knock yourself out doing the "Survivor" columns, especially if you've got a cold coming on. Those of us who rely on them for our "leisure" reading can make do (ha! "Make doo!"). It's not like there aren't other Simmonses out there on the internet putting out columns that are absolutely ideal for poop reading.
If I may offer a bit of unsolicited advice: don't shut down Onebee; just release yourself from any sense of obligation toward it (except for the Oscar pool. If you ever try to stop doing that, you will soon find yourself on the "Marshall" end of my "Rifkin"), and only update it when you feel like. When it's fun. That's what I do.
Bee Boy — Thu, 12/7/06 3:17pm
From experience?! I definitely didn't expect an answer from you on this one, considering your blog archives go back only to February of '05, at which point you were already 18 months married.
Either there was another, earlier blog that I missed out on (in which case I await my apology!) or there's a new girl on the side that you've met since 2005 (in which case Karen probably awaits her apology!). Let me know which one; it affects which plane ticket I buy. I can wait for the apology until the fares go down, but if Karen's suddenly single, time's a factor!
Joe Mulder — Thu, 12/7/06 5:16pm
Ah. I see. You were presenting an "existing blog/new gal" scenario, and I responded based on my experience in a "new blog/existing gal" scenario. Hence the confusion.
(Yeah, yeah; they should all buy that)
(Oh, crap; why did I type that instead of just thinking it? Just because my wife doesn't read this site isn't to say she'll never read this site. That's cool, though; my secret will be safe as long as I don't do something stupid like click "Post Comments...")
Bee Boy — Thu, 12/7/06 5:50pm
Ah. I see. I was presenting the original questions in the frame of, "At what point [do you allow her to] start reading your blog? Does she [get permission to] peruse the archives?" – based on pondering the potential damage from each. And you responded with a realistic, "Dude, the gal won't care."
Which, as you might surmise from my frequent pontification about how much I've disappointed my readers by taking the occasional day off, is not a scenario I'm prepared to accept. She's fascinated; she craves information about every facet of my existence; and she's ready to judge me based on it. Right?
Joe Mulder — Thu, 12/7/06 6:57pm
All I can say is that my particular wife doesn't read my stuff, which I'm generally okay with because it's not the sort of stuff she's at all interested in (except for some show business stuff I write, which I generally point out to her and she'll read).
I say the gal gets an all-access pass; anything you wrote about a while ago, any facet of your personality that was exposed, is apt to come up again. If she can't handle reading it, she probably won't be able to handle living it.
Which would be a good slogan, now that I think about it.
Onebee.com: Don't Just Read It. Live It!
Brandon — Thu, 12/7/06 7:59pm
Having neither a blog nor a penis, I cannot offer any sound advice.
Wait... what??
Bee Boy — Thu, 12/7/06 11:37pm
Hee!
Let me just say this: I just got home after dinner plans with the fam (And 30 Rock – ahhh. Wait, you say it's the longest possible time before more 30 Rock? Dammit!) and there were five new comments and not one of them was spam.
I truly meant it when I said I wasn't asking for free compliments on the essentialness of onebee. But I was genuinely buoyed by the robot-free comment explosion. So... y'know – snif – thanks, guys!
Joe Mulder — Fri, 12/8/06 1:23pm
Re: "30 Rock;"
Someone needs to start a band called "Mind Grapes." Right now. If they don't, I will. And I don't even want to. But I will.
(or at least "Rural Juror")
"Christi" — Tue, 12/12/06 12:10am
I feel compelled to comment on Brandon's penis comment, both because he wrote it in a blog and because I am his wife, and was at one point, his girlfriend.
But what to say when the father of your children makes public his lack of penis...
"Christi" — Tue, 12/12/06 12:11am
and by lack of penis of course I ment...
huge, manly penis...
I will stop now.
Bee Boy — Tue, 12/12/06 9:50am
But I think you've done a fine job of answering the original question.