Thu, October 26, 2006
Kiss the Cook
Yeah, yeah – dual TribCons. Yeah, yeah – borderline insane strategy from Cao Boi. The only think I'm thinking about this week is Candice's performance at the Raro Tribal Council. As part of the reward that she won almost single-handedly for Aitu, she and her team are sitting in the jury "box" eating lamb meat while Raro is going head to head with the hate-bot. As soon as the other team shuffles in, she begins blowing kisses to Adam and making googly eyes. He kind of smiles and shakes his head like she's kidding, but... is she? Instinct tells me she must be, because she seems too smart to do this for real – and that's adjusting 20% for the automatic benefit of the doubt I give her for being cute. (Besides, if she were really unable to restrain herself from flirting with him, wouldn't we occasionally see it during challenges?) It's hard to be sure, though, because if it is a joke she really runs with it far longer than it remains funny. When he gives her (well deserved) recognition for being a key factor in Aitu's win, she mouths, "Aw, I love you" to him in a really exaggerated way. She knows everyone's seeing this, right? Is she just making fun of Billy at this point? I'm honestly befuddled by this whole development. I hope someone brings it up during tonight's episode, because if she doesn't explain it at camp I'm sure we'll be treated to an awkward interview from Probst at Aitu's next TribCon.
Holly made an excellent point in the comments about how much simpler and more enjoyable the show used to be in the early seasons (plus... Colleen!). I've certainly had enough of Burnett's tweaking of the formula, wacky twists and special episodes. I know I've ranted about this before, but these dual TribCon episodes are exceeded only by the elaborate merge ceremonies for sheer unwatchability. The worst thing about Survivor is Tribal Council and the best thing is challenges – especially immunity challenges, where so much is on the line. To double the worst part at the expense of the best part is sheer lunacy. It would be like an episode of How I Met Your Mother with all Marshall and no Barney, or a Grey's Anatomy episode with lots of Christina whining and nobody shoving sharp spikes into Meredith's eyes. Give America what it wants, Burnett! America wants challenges! (And, apparently, Howie Mandel mugging for 45 minutes over whether or not to open a suitcase.)
It was a great challenge, too. One of those contentious, down-and-dirty affairs designed to make everyone hate the hell out of each other. I'd really like to see people working against this design: as soon as they drag an opponent, bruised and battered, across the finish line, it would be great if people would help him up and dust him off, making clear there are no hard feelings and it was all just a game. But that's asking a lot, I know. By this point, they've been kicked and scratched and had sand fly all in their faces and clothes and – in Jenny's case – a very private area which, I don't know from experience but I'm assuming you really don't want sand there. The editors throw in their traditional digital blur, and I bet Jenny really wishes that were an actual forcefield.
The point is to send teams of two out to try to pull an opponent off a thick pole he or she is grabbing onto, and then drag that person across roughly 30 feet of sand to a finish line. Raro is never able to recover from the huge head start that Candice gives Aitu by holding onto her pole tighter (and hotter) than Petra Nemcova during the 2004 tsunami. (Too soon?) Coach Probst barks at Cristina for choking ("Be easy!" Is he awake during this?) during a particularly physical battle in which she is choked more often than she chokes, and she even loses a shoe. In the end, Aitu wins, and Probst announces he's got one more twist in reserve for the end of the dual Tribal Council. Oh, we just bet you do.
The editors seize their first opportunity to prove me wrong by conveying an early, even immediate, decision that Cristina will be voted off Raro – a decision which holds up entirely. (Even to the point of Jenny illustrating a gun on her ballot, in an apparent reference to Cristina's line-of-duty bullet wound. In reality, I think Cristina was shot in her arm, not shot in her name the way Jenny depicts it, but still – harsh!) On the other island, it's a very different story.
Seldom faced with Tribal Council, Aitu is a little unsure of how to react to it. Spurred by a fever dream about invisibility ropes and American Express shamans, Cao Boi concocts the episode's titular "Plan Voodoo," which sounds like someone has entered the Strategy Cafe, but is too busy watching the TV behind the counter to actually concentrate on the menu. He's convinced that Jon or Candice must have the mini idol (ignoring the very real possibility that Yul might have it – remember, he does – presumably because it doesn't fit with his plan). He thinks if he can align the other six members of Aitu against them in a 3-3 tie vote, it will force one of them to play the mini idol and get it out of the way. If he's wrong, he seems to believe that Jon will go home, which is the main selling point of his plan, because apparently everyone is very suspicious of Jon. Seems like if Jon is such a big threat, it might be easier to just convince people to vote for Jon. (Not that I want this; I kind of like him, plus if my prediction comes true and he and Ozzy are the final two, I believe I win some sort of prize. Candy, perhaps?)
There's an element of genius to this strategy: it would be great to force the mini idol early so it can't be deployed later when the going is really rough. However, the idea seems, at best, half-baked: if Jon gets word of this, he can topple the vote fairly easily, since a 3-vote majority is pretty tiny. He could even vote for Candice in desperation, giving her 4 votes and sparing himself and his theoretical mini idol. Plus, it's very ambitious for Cao Boi to think he can corral so many votes so early in the game. In the end, the only one he convinces is Jessica, who says she's "lost [her] trust" in Jon. (I thought she never had any?) Naturally, the editors don't see fit to show us how Jon achieved this switcheroo and voted Cao Boi out instead – which is quite a shame, really. I know I always rant about the editors obscuring the facts in pursuit of a meaningless TribCon surprise, but this time it's particularly annoying because these portions might affect the outcome of the game later on, when people are having to decide whether or not to trust Jon or be in an alliance with him. I'd be interested to know if Yul were instrumental in this also: he interviews that he's siding with Cao Boi's strategy, but maybe he later realizes that ambiguity about whether Jon or Candice might have the mini idol actually works to his benefit. If so, I'm curious how he redirected the vote without drawing suspicion.
Not that I am complaining about the vote, though. I'd have probably picked Ozzy first, but I'm excited that maybe I won't have that damn Kid Rock song stuck in my head any more.
Aitu shuffles over to the jury area and chows down while Raro comes in and treats them to two TribCons worth of eavesdropping, since they spend most of the time rehashing their previous complaints against Cristina. The twist allows Aitu to "kidnap" one person from Raro, sparing them from the vote and taking them back to camp until the next challenge. They choose Nate, presumably on the basis of his obvious hunger, because once you decide not to meddle with the other team's vote, it doesn't really matter who you pick. I'd have liked to see them pick Adam, just to see what the hell is going on, but I admit that would have seemed pretty brazen. Cristina is gone (Bang! Bang!) and everyone heads home. The hate-bot offers a plaintive shrug.
Next week: Jess is all, "You guys! Why did you leave me out of the Cao Boi vote?!" Guess who's next! Yul would prefer not to give Nate the benefit of too much Aitu knowledge. At Raro, Ozzy's stock index breaks 12,000 for the first time in history. Riveting!
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