Fri, July 21, 2006
The Prophecy Is Complete—5:20 PM
From a recent post on Ken-Jennings.com:
Ken-Jennings.com cannot endorse any cruelty to household animals, unless they’re cats.
(My emphasis.)
Well, that does it. Any last quivering atom of my being that wasn't totally in love with Ken Jennings has now sighed, convulsed, and blinked out of existence.
I finally believe that there is hope for love in my future. Because if I could be so wrong about Ken Jennings, then I could be wrong about anything. Michelle Williams and I will be sending out wedding invitations just as soon as she dumps that gay cowboy husband of hers.
For those keeping score at home, let me count the ways in which Ken is my perfect lover (or alter ego):
Fairly funny in a nerdy sort of way.
Self-effacing while self-promoting.
Fascinated by dippy, trivial details. (No surprise there, of course.) I could totally see him obsessing over the Substitute posters.
Takes potshots at Bush.
References The Simpsons. (So far, only the good years.)
Arrested Development fan, particularly Maeby.
Likes Pixar.
Promotes Netflix.
But the biggest surprise of all is the healthy amount of cynical, irreverent sarcasm. He's certainly nowhere near as profane or outspoken as I am at my worst (best?) but it's a far sight better than the bland Mormon schoolboy image projected on Jeopardy! – or maybe that was just my narrow-minded perception at the time. Needless to say, I've undergone a complete 180-degree reversal. One of the things I look forward to every day is a new blog post from Ken.
If this weren't enough of a dreamy summer crush, I'm swooning head-over-heels for VH1 and EW's World Series of Pop Culture. Everything about this show is excellent. (Except for under-lighting the contestants; there's a reason that effect first came to prominence in Lon Chaney flicks. Horrifying!) The set design, the game design, the host (Pat Kiernan, out of nowhere!), and most of all, the questions. (I like this show more than Jeopardy! because I can get 9 out of 10 questions right – if you don't count the music ones, which, again, I don't.)
So, just as I'm falling completely in love with the show, I start up episode 4 and the opening category is "Spielberg Movies." Well played, VH1. Remember five days ago, when I figured I'd probably never watch your network again in my life? Oh, very well played.
Arksie's absolutely right: if you're not watching this show, you "have no right to own a TV." So don't be like Hidalgo – catch up on VH1.com's VSPOT, and start watching today!
(And, if you're into trivia – as my heart seems to be trying to tell me I am – you should sign up for Ken's weekly trivia quiz. With Google tied behind my back, I know very few answers, but that doesn't make it any less fascinating when he reveals them the next week. That Spider-Man/Liberty Valance question was awesome!)
