Fri, January 14, 2005
Count Me Blue—3:54 PM
Tired of yellow? Too straight to wear pink? Another color has taken the insanely popular imprinted silicone bracelet market by storm: blue. Now you can proudly remind the world that you think Bush is an asshole – just in time for inauguration day!
(For those who still have their heads up their asses: Color Me Red is also available. To each his own: America's a melting pot!)
This is a cute idea, and I hope Kerry (who was seldom photographed without his yellow Livestrong bracelet) will be wearing one. But the real reason it appeals to me is that after driving around in Florida for a week and a half, inundated with bumper stickers championing W or demanding support for our troops, my idea was to come up with a bracelet that read "WWOTD?" for "What Would Our Troops Do?" as an update to the "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelets of the '90s. Since we all know our troops are more important and more deserving of our respect than Jesus, anyway.
After all, our troops have the mystical power of transferability. You can support them and simultaneously not support them. For example: don't support Bush? Then you don't support our troops. Don't support a doctrine of preemptive war? Then you don't support our troops, or any war they might fight in. Don't support the Iraq war? Then you don't support our troops and you're a deluded pacifist who would rather have the King of England come over here and push us around than allow a single bullet to be fired in a foreign theatre of combat. And you're a traitor. And probably a terrorist.
You've got to admit, our troops have achieved some pretty impressive things in the area of jingoistic metaphorical cover for any area of dissent. If that's not worthy of memorializing in a cheap plastic doodad, then I don't know what is.
Brandon — Sat, 1/15/05 11:34am
Where can I buy the one that says "Count Me Out"?
"Erica" — Sun, 1/23/05 4:46pm
Don't forget the purple ones (neversurrender.org).