Tue, October 5, 2004

Their first Tribal Council behind them, island living is starting to set in for the competitors of Survivor: Vanuatu – and they're hating it. The Lopevi team still lacks fire (although I really admire the way the entire team is concentrating on the task; it's a little crowded around that "hot amber," but it shows heart). And, at Yasur, the crying and complaining have begun. Eliza is "uncomfortable" and compares the experience to prison, which I somehow doubt is entirely accurate – maybe the food isn't so great, but I think the view and the freedom probably outweigh that. I understand that someone behind the camera asks her what it's like, but I still find it unnecessary for her to whine about the hardship. Didn't she sign up for Survivor? It's a shame she's not really awesome, because she's becoming less fun to look at every time she says anything. Twila (who's just a little too excited about eating maggots) says the girly girls need to "go back to the Holiday Inn," while Dolly mentions, between sobs, that she's "not complaining."

Up the beach, John P. is confronting Travis about the vote that ousted Brook. It's really cute that JP wants to include Travis in the "younger" group now that he's pitifully outnumbered, but, to his credit, Travis isn't being swayed by JP's pressure. Nobody on the team owes it to JP to keep him around just because he's "physical, young, and vibrant." (Vibrant? Can he help me pick out some drapes?) The way it works is, the people who get voted out earliest go home earliest. That doesn't mean the oldest, weakest people, or even the worst players – just the people who get voted out earliest. If it weren't so asinine, JP's incredulity would be kind of cute. "Only one person wins," Travis mentions. Which is an excellent point. (Unless that person isn't Rupert, in which case two people win. Ah, All-Stars. In the history of not living up to potential, it's the not-living-up-to-potentialest.)

It's time for the reward challenge, which – thank heavens – is separate from the immunity challenge. It is not, however, without a balance beam. Welcome back, Beamie! Let's keep those silly men at a disadvantage for the rest of the game! This time, the beam is over water and the teams have to stand on it, which should result in far fewer impromptu mastectomies. The idea is that all of the team members are lined up in a row and each person has to move to the end of the line by passing all the others. Probst says they can only touch one other person at a time, but he doesn't say that they can't spread out to help make that easier. He also doesn't say they have to complete the challenge in absolute silence, but for a while, that's how they do it. Eerie. Travis (Probst calls him "Bubba," which strikes me as rude, but I think he got it from someone at Lopevi) seems to knock a lot of people in the water, as the ladies mount an early lead. This balance beam competition may have been designed with them in mind, but it has its upside for us, too. Just watch them hug!

Before long, Yasur has won it, and they dance and whoop in celebration. The editors make a point of including a shot of Eliza spitting into the water. Gosh! She may have a nice figure, but she appears to be a little rough around the edges. Who wants to wager I can make a lady out of her?

Back at Lopevi, the guys are steamed that they lost to the girls again, but nobody notes that balance beams just aren't for them. They're just mad because they lost another chance to win flint and they still don't have fire. (Hey, guys! How far away is the volcano? Time for a hike!) Rory focuses instead on the fact that the girls were too excited about their victory. (Which shouldn't surprise him: ladies love blankets and pillows.) He thinks it was excessive celebration, and calls it "classless," which bears a twinge of irony coming from the island's only minority because – as I understand it – "excessive celebration" is just NFL-speak for acting too black. Sorry Mia, that's what happens when you keep it real.

At Yasur, the alliance-building is already heating up. Twila and Dolly discuss a vote against Eliza, indicating an alliance of Dolly, Twila, Leann, Scout, and Ami. Which is somewhat surprising because last week it seemed like Lisa hung out more with the older team and Ami and Dolly stayed with the youngsters. Twila considers Dolly a swing vote, so Dolly makes the smart move of sitting out at the immunity challenge in order to avoid seeming to attach herself to one group or the other.

The challenge is the familiar combination of guiding blindfolded teammates to puzzle pieces and then assembling puzzles. Scout guides the women while Lea (of course) guides the men. He's a military man, and he's used to barking orders. Probst calls him "Sarge" – the man loves nicknames this year – but I call him Buzz Cut Dave Coulier. Scout is sometimes a little too soft-spoken for this challenge (they should've picked Eliza), and she manages to overlook a pair of puzzle pieces floating in the water, which gives Lopevi a lead. The guys make short work of their puzzles and win immunity, which leads us quickly to the mudpuppies of foreshadowing, and some frantic vote-shuffling at Yasur.

Dolly quickly finds that being the swing vote isn't as much fun as it sounds. She's under pressure from both sides and she's talking to too many people. Aside from the mistake of not playing her cards a little closer to her chest, Dolly doesn't really do anything wrong here. Julie happens to back Dolly into a corner – I can't tell if this is brilliant strategy or blind luck, but I lean towards the latter. By putting too much pressure on Dolly to explain how she plans to vote, Julie forces her to put up Leann's name as a target, even though Dolly doesn't want to vote for her. It reveals Dolly's inner conflict and causes Dolly to discuss her vote with too many other people. Leann and Eliza get wise, and suddenly the group is fractured into enough pieces that no majority holds. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if someone turned it around and voted for Dolly. Julie interviews that Dolly "isn't looking out for her best interests; she's looking out for everyone's best interests and it's just not possible in this game." What? It's not Julie's job to make sure Dolly looks out for herself, and at this stage in the game, planning for your alliance and not for yourself is absolutely part of the game. This is just a weird attempt to rationalize hassling Dolly and strongarming her into voting against the older ladies – don't worry so much about convincing us, Julie!

This is my first Survivor with a guys-vs.-gals split, so I don't know if this is typical of the all-girl teams or not, but these ladies seem to give Probst a lot more straight answers at Tribal Council. Dolly's not afraid to talk about being pulled in many directions, and Leann's not afraid to discuss her vulnerability and indicate that she's been talking to people about what the alliances are and what the vote might be. Refreshing! Eliza says at one point (someone stop her talking!) that "you just have to pray that people stick to their word." Well, sure, or alternatively, PLAY Survivor! It's not a game of trust. It's a game of collusion and manipulation.

Dolly's sent home, reducing yet another youthful alliance to a minority. This is going to be quite an elderly Survivor! Mia and Julie ham it up with the overacting in shock about each vote in Probst's tally, and Dolly says, "I wasn't cut out for this." Probst wonders aloud if this will bring Yasur closer together or continue to separate them, but nobody's listening. They've all gone home with their torches.

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