Mon, September 20, 2004
Week Three
...that's when I zog.
The Benefactor
(ABC, 8:00 Mondays – delayed on the west coast for football)
The Benefactor holds absolutely no interest for me, and as a corollary to my commitment to review every new show, I excused myself from reality shows or UPN shows. However, I'm making a few exceptions to both cases, and The Benefactor is one of them: I was curious to see Mark Cuban in action, because I've heard a lot about him on Kilborn (and the 'Porter) and he seems like a loose cannon.
And that he is. If there's anything I took away from the premiere of The Benefactor (other than I absolutely can not watch another episode of this show), it's that Mark Cuban is nuts. He's one of those new tech billionaires – the super-geeky types who suddenly have tons of money and plenty of power and no idea what to do with it. The show seems to follow his direction pretty much exclusively, although I get the feeling it's not entirely as spontaneous as he'd want us to think. It takes the form of a customized Mark Cuban "success test" – evaluating those attributes that he feels are necessary to be as successful in life as he's been. (Varying definitions of "success" notwithstanding.) The "success test" concept is nothing more than a dumb façade – for example, Cuban says things like "you have to be able to get along with people," but isn't he the most fined owner in NBA history or something? The show merely amounts to the low-rent "regular guy" version of The Apprentice. We follow Cuban through the extended, meandering process of arbitrarily handing a million dollars to some schmo. To make it interesting, a bunch of silly challenges are thrown in – in the premiere, these include: coming into the house; talking with Cuban; and playing Jenga.
Mark Cuban really enjoys torturing the candidates, yanking them around, playing with their emotions. He'll say, "you got up and served water; did anyone say you could do that?" then let them sweat for a while, then say, "Initiative. I like that." He reminds me of the old Southern lady in the Simpsons episode with Diedrich Bader. ("You're stealing my trailer. I like that.") It's kind of uncomfortable, and because the people aren't that interesting, it's not really very compelling. It's funny how much of the show focuses on Cuban figuring out how to have your own reality game show. Like watching the audition tapes: one young lady actually submits an audition tape where she runs around naked. Really? We're still doing that? I'm plenty delighted by naked girls, but haven't we moved past that era of reality TV audition tapes? Apparently, it's all new to Cuban, though – she makes it on the show. Then he enjoys watching the candidates on closed-circuit TV while they talk amongst themselves in the house. Watching Cuban watch TV: this is what reality television has come to.
LAX
(NBC, 10:00 Mondays)
I'm surprised by how much I liked this show. As far as exceeding my expectations, it will probably be the best this year. (Exceeding in a positive direction, that is. Plenty of shows have exceeded my expectations for them to suck. Did I mention Father of the Pride?) It starts with the opening. (Or, to put it less tautologically, the show's appeal springs principally from its credits sequence.) In my write-up of Hawaii, I mentioned the terrible graphics that are common to both shows, but it appears I was misled. The awful graphics guy on Hawaii may have handled graphics for the LAX promos, but they hired a real guy for the show: the opening graphics for LAX are fantastic. In fact, the show is out to an early lead for Best New Opening Titles, narrowly edging out the opening of The Benefactor, which evokes M.C. Escher and is the only redeeming element of the program. (Right now, Joey is way, way ahead of any competition for the Worst title.) The great thing about the opening, aside from the delightful ELO song "Mr. Blue Sky" (you heard it on the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind trailer and a fun Volkswagen ad), its bright visuals and peppy rhythm provide an insight into the tone of the show – it turns out LAX takes itself a great deal less seriously than I anticipated, and that's a very good thing.
I was a little doubtful about Heather Locklear and Blair Underwood (and I'm still a little doubtful about Underwood), but within this kind of show – kind of bouncy, kind of Melrose Place over-the-top melodramatic – they work out okay. And they're joined by an interesting supporting cast, including my favorite, Frank John Hughes from Boomtown and Band of Brothers. It will be interesting to see where the show goes from here. They've pre-loaded it with dramatic potential: an affair between Underwood and Locklear (he's married); Locklear's ADD; Underwood's gambling; Hughes's on-the-job drinking. If it's just more and more fireworks between Locklear and Underwood, LAX could quickly grow tiresome. If too much time is spent on goopy subplots like this week's Customs situation with a mail-order bride from the Philippines, then it'll be completely unwatchable. But maybe they'll keep it changing, keep it loose, and keep it fun.
I'm waiting for the crossover episode between LAX and time-slot-adjacent Las Vegas, where Danny and Mary get hitched in Vegas and then fly to the coast for their honeymoon. It could be sponsored commercial-free by Southwest Airlines. (Synergy, baby!)
Returning Shows
This week's only returning shows are Survivor and Las Vegas, and it's hard to say which I hate to love more. Actually, it would be, except I watched the season premiere of Las Vegas today and it featured this exchange, between Sam (Vanessa Marcil – hot!) and Delinda (Molly Sims – hot!):
Sam: ...don't get your panties in a bunch.
Delinda: For your information, I'm not wearing any panties.
What other show on television could get away with that? This season looks to be infinitesimally less tacky than last season, but I think that might work in the show's favor. With Jon Lovitz guesting again next week, I know I'm still riveted.
Las Vegas
Survivor
Premiering Next Week
It's a big week, so I'm splitting the new stuff from the returning stuff – just another way I endeavor to make your life easier.
Listen Up: CBS, Monday at 8:30
Rodney: ABC, Tuesday at 9:30
Lost: ABC, Wednesday at 8:00
(
reviewing blind
)
The Mountain: WB, Wednesday at 9:00
Veronica Mars: UPN, Wednesday at 9:00
(Despite airing on UPN, this one has promise. Enrico Colantoni from Galaxy Quest and Just Shoot Me – and Hope & Gloria – for one. Plus, it's created by Rob Thomas, who we like.)
CSI: NY: CBS, Wednesday at 10:00
Complete Savages: ABC, Friday at 8:30
dr. vegas: CBS, Friday at 10:00
Clubhouse: CBS, Sunday at 8:00 (special early premiere)
Returning Premieres
There are a few other shows that start this week (Law & Order, for example); these are just the ones on my TiVo To Do List. Already, it's a handful!
Still Standing: CBS, Monday at 8:00
Everybody Loves Raymond: CBS, Monday at 9:00
Two and a Half Men: CBS, Monday at 9:30
Gilmore Girls: WB, Tuesday at 8:00 (for reals this time!)
Smallville: WB, Wednesday at 8:00 (Clexy!)
CSI: CBS, Thursday at 9:00
Without a Trace: CBS, Thursday at 10:00
Joan of Arcadia: CBS, Friday at 8:00 (watch it!)
And, also, I'm very ashamed to say:
According to Jim: ABC, Tuesday at 9:00
© onebee · all rights reserved
Brandon — Wed, 9/22/04 2:14am
Not that this has anything to do with your reviews, but this is the Week Three entry, so I figure that's where this belongs...
Heather Graham has been excellent on Scrubs. She's a natural fit with their acting style, and she's nailing the dialogue. (And it doesn't hurt that, as Dave would say, "she's easy on the eyes."
She really needs to extend her stay on Scrubs beyond the planned eight episodes. I realize that's not going to happen, since it would be considered a "step down" for her career, but still, a guy can hope, can't he?
Bee Boy — Wed, 9/22/04 11:01am
I've been thinking the same thing, and I'm not a Heather Graham groupie. (Not that I dislike her, but I wasn't planning to like her performance on Scrubs before I saw it.) I thought the same about Michael J. Fox and Brendan Fraser – maybe the Scrubs material really makes the guest stars shine, and maybe the idea of being on the show appeals to the best people. I don't know if an extended guest appearance is the answer for Graham, or if she should just drop in again in the future. Always leave 'em wanting more!
Speaking of the Best Grahams On Television, I haven't watched Gilmore Girls yet, but I saw a promo for the syndicated reruns starting from the beginning on ABC Family (or some cable channel) next month and I'm getting very excited. Lauren Graham and her character seem a lot cooler than I was expecting. I never really gave her full credit for how good she was on NewsRadio because of how much of a dud Townies was (not fair, I know). Bad Santa and Celebrity Poker Showdown started to bring me around – I think if I were to become a Gilmore Girls viewer, I could become a very big fan of hers indeed. (Plus, Dave likes her, which is always a good sign.)
Brandon — Thu, 9/23/04 12:56am
Unfortunately, for me, Lauren Graham has now achieved actor/character symbiosis, and I will have a hard time accepting her as anyone but Lorelai Gilmore. How is Bad Santa, by the way?
And I think you're going to have to add a star and a half to your non-blind review of Lost (well, of course you don't HAVE to; I myself felt it was worth of a five-star rating... or at least four and a half). That was the best pilot episode I've seen in a long time.
Bee Boy — Thu, 9/23/04 2:24am
Bad Santa was very enjoyable. If you like her at all though (and I know that you do) you absolutely must see it. I won't spoil her excellent, eminently quotable catchphrase from the film, but ... well, it's excellent. (And eminently quotable.)
And I was thinking the same thing about Lost. Which is great. I was hoping the stars would go up once I actually saw an episode, but lately I've learned my lesson whenever I've set my expectations too high.
Brandon — Thu, 9/23/04 12:19pm
I know all about the expectations game, I struggle with it often. Luckily, Lost didn't even hit my radar until the last two weeks, so my expectations didn't have time to grow out of control.
You gotta love a show with that's not afraid to go without dialogue for the first 3-4 minutes, and plunge you into the middle of chaos without first throwing a whole lot of exposition at you.
Joe Mulder — Thu, 9/23/04 4:22pm
Interesting stuff about "Lost," if only because Brandon and I usually are pretty in sync with what we like and what we don't, and, I couldn't have hated "Lost" any more if Dennis Green had starred in it. Just awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful. I will never, ever watch it again.
That said, I've been wrong before, most notably about "SportsNight," the pilot of which I watched and didn't particularly care for. But then people (most notably Brandon) kept talking about how good it was, so I gave it another chance, and, sure enough.
But there's a big difference between "didn't particularly care for" and "would rather toss Della Reese's salad than watch again." And, good God, did I not like "Lost."
Too bad, too, because I thought it looked kind of good.
Brandon — Thu, 9/23/04 4:43pm
Wow. What made you dislike it so intensely?
Joe Mulder — Thu, 9/23/04 4:48pm
I don't know. The content?
The production value was fine, but, I guess I just didn't care one lick about anything that was going on, I wasn't compelled in any way, and I thought the whole thing where there's some sort of creature was incredibly gay and lame.
I guess that's it. And, I understand that all the characterization and backstories are supposed to unfold over time, and I'm all for that, and it sounds fun, but, based on the pilot, which I found interminable, I sure as heck won't stick around to watch.
Besides, when you've got quality fare like "Smallville" on another network at the sametime, why bother?
Bee Boy — Thu, 9/23/04 5:25pm
Wow. Color me shocked. Astonished. Overwhelmed. Watching Lost I was simultaneously relieved that it was every bit as good as I was hoping and excited because I couldn't imagine how anyone could watch it and not love it. (Maybe not love it as much as I did, but at least 60% as much.) I still can't conceive of it, even after reading your explanation. Wow. (If it were Andy, I'd understand; he has a track record for obstinately disliking something that is a clear phenomenon that everyone loves.) Wow.
Fortunately, Fox has a reality show in the works called "Tossing Della Reese's Salad," so at least we can all look forward to that one.
Brandon — Thu, 9/23/04 6:23pm
I'm still pretty stunned, but I can see how Lost might be a show that would polarize. Anytime you have a show that delves into that "this could never really happen, but we're going to play it realistically anyway" territory, there's a risk that some people won't suspend their disbelief and go along for the ride. I think it depends on whether the material is, so to speak, "up your alley" or "in your wheelhouse." Take Buffy the Vampire Slayer for instance. I have no interest in vampires, and so I never got into the show. Now I realize there was a LOT more to Buffy than vampires, but no matter how many great reviews I read or how many times Joe told me it was his favorite show, I just couldn't be lured into watching, because I just don't care a lick about vampires.
For me, in this case, Lost was right in my wheelhouse. I like Bermuda Triangle/Bigfoot/Abominable Snowman-type bizarre, unexplainable stuff (there was a book called "Maybe Monsters" in the Marshall Public Library that I must've set a record for checking out when I was 10, 11, 12 years old). I liked the unexplained creature lurking out in the woods in Lost. I'm really excited about the "there's another transmission coming from here on the island" thing next week.
Which is not to say that I think any of this is what happened with you, Joe. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
And "Tossing Della Reese's Salad"? Not in my wheelhouse. Not in my house, period. Whew.