Wed, April 14, 2004
How Dare They?—6:00 PM
Okay, I thought I liked Low Culture, but this is almost unforgivable.
New York Second [Low Culture]
They're panning the new Mary-Kate and Ashley movie already, based only on the trailer! Come on! You can hardly tell anything from a trailer. (Except that I am totally seeing this movie. Mary-Kate running around in a towel? I'm not made of stone, people!)
Seriously, though. I'm all behind this post-modern cynical/apathetic deconstruction of super-sheeny Hollywood pablum like Van Helsing or Vin Diesel, but the Olsen twins? That crosses a line. They're not super-sheeny in an artificial Hollywood way. They're just super-sheeny. That's what they are. (And they're damn good comic actors, too. If you don't believe me, I've got episodes of Two of a Kind on TiVo!) There's such a thing as being rich, popular, cute, and talented. Don't hate them because they're twice as beautiful.
Gifted comedians Andy Richter and Eugene Levy saw fit to get involved, that's good enough for me. Plus, Drew "Dr. Drew" Pinsky as the Olsen Dad! This is going to be the best movie since Crossroads! (Sure, you think I'm kidding.)
The best thing about the New York Minute trailer is how often the girls are staged before the camera in a way that makes it look like a split-screen effect.
It's not just the Big Business-style blocking – the film is shot in that pretty, bubble-gum, slightly-overexposed style in order to make it feel brighter and bouncier. This means artificial light, even for sunlit exteriors. Which, for technical reasons, is a necessity in your split-screen movies as well, and therefore creates an immediate unconscious connection. Watch the trailer. At times, you can almost see the dividing line! (Maybe one of them got fat?) That would be the ultimate prank – convincing us that there were two of them for all these years. (Hey, maybe I could pitch that script to DualStar...)
Anyway, I know where I'll be on May 7th (and 8th) (and probably 9th). If New York Minute isn't the funniest, best written film of the year, what's the big deal? Why should the Olsen twins be held to a higher standard than Mike Myers?
