Wed, February 11, 2004
Kill Frowno
And, preferably, do it before the Wisconsin primary.
I just found out that CNN pageboy, Somali liberator, and amateur robot Wesley Clark has dropped out of the race for the Democratic nomination for president. This is excellent news. The more candidates we lose, the fewer votes are siphoned off of Dean's percentages, and the better chances he'll remain in the race. I like John Edwards a lot, but I can't take him seriously because he seems like a lad. I just don't see America electing a lad to go in and clean up after Dubya. And I can't stand John Kerry. Somebody should kill that guy.
Here's why: Kerry is probably a nice enough guy, and I think it was a stand-up thing to do to go before Congress back when he was in the military and speak out against the Vietnam War. But he's a mopey, dull automaton and I know you're saying "So was Al Gore and he's your freakin' hero so what gives?" but in reality Al Gore was an intelligent and motivated dull automaton and there's a huge difference. You know what it is? Kerry reminds me of Principal Skinner. We do not need Principal Skinner running this country and, what's more, you are not going to be able to defeat George W. Bush this fall with Principal Skinner. (Superintendent Chalmers, perhaps, but Kucinich has no chance at winning the nomination.)
Everybody gave Howard Dean a hard time about his concession speech in Iowa, and I've made my feelings clear on that. In fact, ABC news even said that Dean didn't get a fair shake from the media. They revealed what Dean's camp had been saying all along: that Dean was holding a directional, noise-cancelling microphone, and that anyone in the room would have told you that he was yelling so loud so he could be heard over the throngs of excited supporters. On TV, you don't hear the supporters because the microphone is doing its job and so it sounds like he's a frothing lunatic and the room is filled with a horrified audience listening in slack-jawed silence. The point is, at least Dean was fired up, and he came in third! Look at Kerry's victory speech! It's like someone just told him his favorite kitten chewed through his waterbed. He's downright sullen and he just speaks in monotones which makes it really difficult to get excited about his candidacy.
I want Dean to win. I have always wanted Dean to win and I still want Dean to win. He's not that far behind in the actual delegate count, and as the pack narrows, his lot can only improve. I first heard about Howard Dean when he wrote a column on CommonDreams.org which is the lovely hippie-lefty website that was hosting the Ari & I series wherein Russell Mokhiber would ask hard questions at White House press briefings and Ari Fleischer would be a smug prick. Anyway, the thing that made me love Dean that day when I found his letter on Common Dreams is the same thing that makes me love him today. He's passionate. He's motivated. He's deeply committed to change. And he'll tell anyone. He's not going to mince words. Maybe that makes him seem a little rough around the edges, but I prefer lots of unrefined information to no information (Bush) or the same focus-group-tested information all the time (Kerry, who even came out against gay marriage).
The point is, everybody thinks John Kerry is more "electable" than Howard Dean, and that's because the media says it and nobody bothers to give it any thought. Nobody actually knows what "electable" means, because they're too busy listening to the damn media. Think about it: "electability" means "ability to defeat George W. Bush in the general election." Leaving aside for a moment the fact that, no matter what the votes are, Bush will simply steal the election again, let's just pretend for a moment that it matters who Americans vote for. In that fantasy, the key voters are moderates and the key issue is voter apathy. John Kerry fucking embodies voter apathy. He's a candidate – a leading candidate – and he's apathetic! When it comes time to reach out to moderates and convince them to vote Democratic, and reach out to non-voters and get them energized and excited about the process, Kerry will be dead in the water. Nobody can get excited about Frowno. And he's not willing to stand up for the truth against Bush in a debate or in a campaign. Dean would be rabid. Dean would constantly hold Bush accountable, and people would be forced to realize that what his administration is doing is bad for most of the country, and those people who it's good for were already voting for him anyway so we have to consider them a lost cause.
Also, don't forget about those party-pooper Nader voters. They're so dead-set on making a statement with their vote that they'll continue to throw away a perfectly good anti-Bush vote just to make a point. With Kerry in place, this will feel a lot more justified because the two party candidates will be virtually indistinguishable. With Dean, he reaches out to the far left and therefore more of the Nader crazies will be able to live with themselves if they vote for him and this narrows the number of anti-Bush votes that are being wasted. This kind of thing would have won Al Gore the election, so it's pretty important to focus on it.
So, now who's more "electable"? Dean can beat Bush, and he can do it while refocusing the nation's priorities on the important changes that are needed in order to turn things around. Not only that, but once he's in office, he's passionate enough to get those changes through the system and roll back some of the atrocities that have been committed by the Bush administration against our civil liberties, our environment, our economy, our foreign policy, and our general position in the international community.
Kerry should do the honorable thing and kill himself. Or, failing that, he should step aside if and when the party offers him their nomination and run as Dean's vice presidential running mate.
© onebee · all rights reserved
Bee Boy — Thu, 2/12/04 2:01pm
Wow! Did I call it, or what?
Bee Boy — Fri, 2/11/05 9:11am
Okay, so InternGate didn't pan out – but I still say that fucker set the Democratic party back a couple of years by so thoroughly personifying the Waffley, Grey-Area Democrat that the Bush Administration loves to contrast with their black & white, firm conviction, perfect even in retrospect, divinely directed style.