Thu, October 30, 2003
Pre-Merge Doldrums
Blah, blah, TribCon. (Oh, also – many, many spoilers!)
Arg.
After last week, I thought no episode of Survivor could make me not want to write about it that much ever again. Then came this week. My. God. The best part of this episode is the (obligatory) return of Darrah's shower scene in the "previously" footage. (I'm betting they manage to work this into all the "previously" footage to come.)
In the interest of inspiring myself and maybe learning about some element of this week's episode that had escaped me, I toddled over to Television Without Pity and read Miss Alli's recap. I think I may have to stop doing that. There's a point to which it's funny to carp on and on about how much you hate something while you continue to watch it, and she has crossed that line. This week's recap is just unrestrained bitching about everyone. If I hated every single person on the Survivor cast, I'd just tune out. Tru Calling is coming on, for Christ's sake. Yes, Rupert is increasingly self-important, but there's something unspoiled and cuddly about his view of the world. Yes, Morgan is a tribe of utter morons, but they promise to make it interesting at the merge. And I'm getting really super-extra tired of this whining about Drake for celebrating too much when they win challenges. It was stupid before their fall, and it's even more stupid now when they actually have something to celebrate. There's no way to look at it as "mean" or "unfair." And it's rich with hypocrisy to pick on Rupert for being offended that Trish is a liar when he gives Sandra a pass for lying to Trish, since you are being just as selective as he. It's just a game. It's just TV. Relax.
In Season One of The Amazing Race, Drew (or maybe Kevin) referred to his teammate's performance in a physical challenge as "like a girl." Miss Alli: "Of course, officially, my reaction is, "AHEM, young man, please do not use 'girl' as a stand-in for 'wimp.'" But, you know, unofficially? Hee hee."
We get it. You're a feminist. You're pro-cultural-sensitivity. "Oh, Emily you shouldn't speak harshly to others." We get it. "The signs written in Chinese are helpful, just not to the Americans." We. Get. It.
The first season of The Amazing Race aired just after the 9/11 attacks, and I thought perhaps Miss Alli's sensitivity toward the appearance of the Ugly American Tourist was justifiably ratcheted up a few notches. Two years later, she's still going strong. Which is sad, because if she's generally this sensitive about Every Little Thing, life can't be fun for her.
Me? I like Rupert. He gets on my nerves at times, but he's funny. When he wants Shawn "off my island and out of my adventure," that line should way annoy me, but somehow it's endearing. It is an adventure, after all. Sure, it's a game first. But it's also a pretty big thing for these people: putting work on hold, taking months out of your regular life to challenge yourself physically and mentally in ways you never imagined. It's not going to be all smiles and lollipops, but I can see where you'd want to have the best possible experience.
I'm warming to Shawn. He does a really cool thing being nice to Rupert when his pet snake dies. He doesn't necessarily understand Rupert's attachment, but rather than teasing him, he says he's sorry. This represents a departure from his previous behavior – teasing Rupert about his skirt and generally acting like an ass. The cynical would argue that now that the tribe has shrunk, Shawn no longer has a power base from which to be a pain in Rupert's ass. He needs Rupert now, and so he has to play nice. I'm among them. I argue that, too. But it's still nice to see.
Jon has managed to execute a tricky move that I call "backlashing around." An example: I hated Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace about as much as I'd ever hated a movie. (Until Episode II came along.) I was my typical frothing lunatic self about how much I hated that movie. But the point came that I had hated it so hard that it was plainly comical, and so I thought it would be funny to buy a pair of Darth Maul silk boxers at Target and a Lego set of the Naboo swamp, complete with Lego Jar-Jar Binks. Having them would be a semi-ironic statement about how much I didn't want them. Shut up. It made sense to me. Episode I had backlashed around. I hated it so much I started hating the hate, and that pushed me in the opposite direction. Not toward genuinely liking it, but toward appreciating my hatred for it in that somewhat ironic way. Jon has done this. When Probst (talk about hate!) casually asks Jon to identify the target at which he's aiming his cannon, Jon replies, "The orange one." Hee. I like this because I think Probst is unusually good this year, but he's still a pain in the ass for trying to make Survivor like a TV show all the time. I understand it's his job, but he shouldn't expect any cooperation from the people who are out there sleeping in the sand, starving, and being ravaged by insects. If he wants to narrate, great, but he's got no right to ask Jon to help out; Jon's not getting paid for it.
When Drake wins the challenge, their celebration is still within limits. I think they have every right to be happy, and I've never seen them run over to Morgan and get in their face about it. The tribe's morale improves, they get their food reward, and they prove that they haven't entirely collapsed. It is important for them to win this one, and I'm glad they do. I'm sure they're even gladder. Sure, they approach the line when they hiss "Yes!" as Andrew misses his target, but this is the kind of challenge where you really need the other team to fall behind. The teams are very close through the whole thing, and based on how old the cannons are, there is no precision involved. You need as much insurance as possible. In the end, Drake wins because Christa merely has to refine her aim on a target Drake has already tried, while Andrew has to aim at a new target altogether. That little bit makes a difference.
So, I'm happy with most of Drake. Trish irritates me a little, but that's mostly because her power move appears to come completely out of left field, and I bet that's a result of the editing more than anything else. We just haven't seen enough of her up to now. Out of everyone, Sandra is my least favorite right now, just because she seems to take things a little too seriously. Jon does, at times, of course. But he's also aloof often enough to where I can sort of look the other way. Besides, I love the way he curses up a storm. For some reason, Survivor thought it would be cute to cover up bad language with little sword clashes this year, rather than bleeps or (my preference) silence. I suppose it fits into the pirate theme. But it's great when he gets going against Shawn – it's like being at a foley session for an Errol Flynn movie. Hee!
Morgan? Yeah. These people are idiots. I have to like Darrah, because she's All We Have Left. But that's it. Osten's pussitude is up to 11 this week, with his bizarre pelican phobia. (By the way, I find it interesting that the first shot we see of Morgan includes Osten doing work. Is it possible that his laziness is just a factor of the editing? They just couldn't cut out this shot because it includes the pelican?) At this point, his own tribe is getting sick of his bitching, so you can tell it's really getting bad. He's like (attention, Miss Alli) a girl. I like Andrew okay, though. He seems to have a positive attitude, even if it's only because he thinks he has a better chance after the merge. He really seems to be looking forward to that. I'm hoping this means he's ready to eliminate Tijuana and Osten as soon as it happens. Ryan wins no love from me for being the protector of the Pelican.
And in twisting news, what the hell is up with the sitting out? Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't? Preposterous! Get rid of this stupid rule once and for all, and just let the tribes compete at whatever size they are. And – surprise! – it looks like the ousted tribe members will be showing up next week for a cameo. (I'm giving myself half a star for predicting this one, since I mentioned it more in the context of the jury.) I'm really hoping that it will add some intrigue to next week's episode, because I'm starting to feel like I should just quit watching this show.
And that would make me like Osten. Nobody wants that.
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