Thu, October 9, 2003

It's week three of Survivor: Pearl Islands which means days seven through nine on the island(s). At this point, we should be treated to handfuls of footage of everyone realizing that while Survivor is a game, it is also a physical, mental survival competition that kicks your ass. Instead, we're only able to view about half of the contestants realizing this because Drake continues its undefeated streak. Now, we all know that it is inevitable that Morgan will eventually win a challenge. The "dominant" tribe always starts to falter at some point, partly because they've missed out on the release that comes from Tribal Council. Scapegoating all your frustration and hostility onto one little old lady and then sending her packing can do marvels for morale. (I say "we all know," but apparently it comes as a shock to Probst. When Ryan floats this theory at Morgan's third consecutive Tribal Council, Jeff looks as though he's been told that Richard Hatch has been secretly licking his silverware at night.)

Predestined though it may be, the leveling of the playing field does not occur just yet. Perhaps it has to get really desperate before the producers will throw in one of their trademark Immunity Challenges Unmistakably Designed to Favor the Losing Team. In fact, this week the producers seem to be toying with Morgan, by continuing to show the team that – without any mental focus on victory – Osten's physicality isn't really living up to the hype. It seems like the more the team prioritizes physical prowess, the more the producers are doggedly determined to demonstrate how little they actually have.

I don't honestly believe Drake has that much of a strength advantage. Rupert is raw energy and has enough mass to render his whim upon the physical world. But he's not exactly in shape. One relay race up to the top of a mountain will topple him. And, since Drake is forced to repeatedly "sit out" some of its team, their so-called big strong men can't all participate in every challenge. The morale disparity takes its toll, sure, but adjusting to island life has to be affecting them at least a little. I think what sets Drake apart is a commitment to strategize and work together. They recognize, as they have from the very start, that they need to put their heads together, agree on a plan, and carry it out. Morgan appears only to believe that if they talk in Tribal Council about being a strong and unified team, it will just happen on its own. They keep saying "if we could just win one, it would get us back on track," as though they expect someone to say, "Fine. We forfeit." (In this week's "next time" footage, we finally get the Inevitable Shot of the Stronger Team Considering "Throwing" an Immunity Challenge in Order to Vote Off an Unpopular Teammate. [I guess it was at the cleaners last week.] Maybe if Morgan waits long enough, they will get a free win, but I doubt it.)

A couple of things from this week's show remind me how Drake is a superior team. Primary, of course, is the way they respond to the challenges. In the reward challenge, we see a pure commitment to win from Drake, while Morgan is content to make oversized gestures of simulated competition. "Stage trying," I call it. It seems like as long as they are able to go back to camp and commiserate over the loss convincingly with the other team members, that's enough. ("Did you see how I was waving my arms?! I put 110 percent out there, and it wasn't enough!") But we also see Drake using a third of a map to search for treasure. I get the sense that the editors are trying to say "look at these morons," but I disagree. The exercise is not actually about finding the treasure. They're not idiots; they know that all the information that will actually help them will be on the part of the map they get last. In the McDonald's Monopoly game, you're not the only one waiting for Boardwalk – they only print out one Boardwalk. It's designed to play out in the endgame; the other pieces are just there to make sure you were paying attention at all. No, it's unlikely they'll find the treasure this week, but they're out there anyway because it provides a valuable distraction from sitting around camp whining and bickering. Plus it's a teamwork exercise, a communication-strengthener, a great physical workout, and a puzzle that helps them keep their mental focus sharp and their minds in goal-oriented mode. If they were to sit around camp and mope all day like Morgan, their bodies would get used to it, too, and their reflexes wouldn't be sharp at challenge time.

A lot of times, it appears that Morgan thinks this is more of a PR game. They really seem to feel that if they say the right things to Jeff at Tribal Council, they'll receive a special prize. ("Today's secret word is 'fissiparous,' Pee-Wee.") They often act like they can talk their way to victory, but judging from the way Leader Andrew handles himself, this is a delusional path to follow. He says things like, "we're a stronger team mentally because we keep losing." This week, for some reason, he decides he wants to tell Lillian that she's being voted out, but he's too scared to actually tell her. "The person that is least valuable to the tribe should go tonight," he says. Cumbersome, vague language like that (the very kind that won Arnold Schwarzenegger an election!) makes it pretty obvious that he means "you." So, why doesn't he just say it? Then he tries to make nice by acting like he'll come back and tell her the final decision (um, he just did!), but we all know he isn't doing that. (Later we learn that Lil apparently expected him to follow through on that, which is too bad for her. I think it's hilarious, though, that when he didn't make good on that promise she wasn't able to read between the lines and figure out that it meant "bye bye.") At Tribal Council, Darrah brings up 110% again. I think it's time for a new percent system. Something like the metric system, where there's a conversion formula to get from Normal Percents to Survivor Percents. It could be like the Kelvin scale, but 110 would be the baseline. (Failing that, it would be really funny if the next time someone says it at Tribal Council, Jeff just hands them a pitcher of water and says "Give me back 110% of that water.")

Maybe the problem is that the core alliance in Morgan is a bunch of idiots. Osten (he of the fabled Lightning Pneumonia) wants to quit, Andrew says things like "there's a big difference between quitting and actually quitting," Ryan O. believes that if only Lil had taken him fishing with her, the buddy system would have prevented the hook from slipping off her line, and Tijuana has yet to evidence any intelligence or physical prowess. We first met her bickering with Panamanian women over a bowl, and since then all we've seen from her is a lot of talking behind people's backs about how often they talk behind her back. How did this group assume power? (And how come Darrah's out and Tijuana's in? They seem pretty equally matched to me – is this just a matter of Osten exercising his position in the alliance to keep a sister in?) This crew stubbornly continues to employ a failing philosophy, the center of which is "Osten is cut, so we need him." Osten was washed out of the reward challenge almost immediately this week, and I think it's telling that in the immunity challenge, he just lets go of the rope. It doesn't slip out of his hands, he lets go. (Later, he admits this to camera: He says "the rope slipped out of my hands," then retracts, saying it "was slipping.") Maybe it was about to go, but we won't know, because he dropped it. He doesn't have his heart in the game the way Rupert does, and that's what's hurting them. Considering the performance of the other guys in both challenges this week, I'm surprised they're voting women off for being weak. A key element of survival is adaptation; if this team doesn't look at the evidence and shift their game plan, it's hopeless.

But, at least they've realized the value of a free win. They seem to spend all their time talking about it. "If we could just get a win," the team would turn around. In my opinion, they're sort of drawing to the inside of a straight if they peg all their hopes on the other team forfeiting, but I'm proud of them for at least being able to recognize that it would help them if it happened. (I'm curious if it would help them beyond that free challenge, though. If Drake throws the reward challenge next week, will Morgan's euphoria propel them through the immunity game?) It's still pretty unlikely that Drake will lose on purpose, made more unlikely by the fact that the preview clips are trying to indicate that they will. They have a problem with Jon the Art Consultant. (Is he a "That's art."/"That's not." kind of consultant, or a "Yes... you need to put some art... THERE!" kind?) The first night, he was a loud, annoying drunk, but we haven't seen much of him since. This week, he manages to get all in Sandra's face about how men are always stronger than women, insisting that she beat him in the show's initial swim because he was "only using [his] arms." He's an obnoxious skinny punk, he doesn't look stronger than Sandra, and he's such a tool that later at the challenge he acts like maybe it's the imaginary guy behind him that'll be sitting out the battle. Yes, they could certainly stand to lose him. But I don't think they will. For one thing, how hard is it to just ignore the guy? He's not actively sabotaging them. For another, there's footage in the preview clips of Rupert referring to someone as a "traitor." We're meant to believe that he's referring to Jon, but I'm going to go out on a limb and theorize that he's actually referring to whoever came up with the "let's throw immunity" idea. Rupert is a big believer in winning, and doesn't seem to think quite so highly of quitting. He's a force to be reckoned with, and if I'm right, they'll be hard pressed to lose a challenge he doesn't want to lose.

The other thing we see in the previews is a shot of the Morgan team standing on the beach looking mildly concerned while Osten drowns. (Man that guy is a physical dynamo!) I'm sure it's not as bad as it's meant to look, but if it is, come on! Jump in and swim out there! I know the team would benefit from his death, but I think the polite thing to do would be to swim out and at least try to help him. (Of course, these are the previews; more than likely it'll turn out that the immunity challenge next week is who can do the best Cast Away impression.)

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