Sat, April 19, 2003

Sports Night's Isaac Jaffe (Robert Guillaume) said, "If you're dumb, surround yourself with people smarter than you. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you." It's an enlightened sentiment, and an approach that has served me very well. (In my case, this is more frequently the result of inadvertent luck than careful design; although, it's also the result of having opinions that are generally unshareable.)

The unspoken corollary, of course, is that these people must have the integrity and resolve to be able to disagree with you respectfully. My friends and I will occasionally fight (although "debate" would be the proper term, if only our arguments were more rationally constructed or coherent) on any number of topics, but even when voices are raised or emotions run high, we know that there are no hard feelings. The security that is automatic to such a mutually respectful relationship allows for freedom not only to express ideas, but to learn from the expression of dissenting views.

Another phrase that I like to use a lot, and it's particularly applicable in Hollywood, is that "the opposite of talking is listening, not waiting." I think if a greater tendency toward thougthful, respectful disagreement and actual listening could take hold in America – in fact, the world – it would greatly further the healing of the many troubles that face us today. When you look at the partisan politics in Congress, or the dismissive reaction of the White House toward anti-war protesters (to choose an example at random), you see a steadfast refusal to listen. If, instead, parties were more prone to examine an opposing viewpoint and try to understand why someone feels the way they do, there's a chance that everyone's interests could be furthered and many gaps bridged.

Now, my friends and I aren't necessarily that measured or deliberate when we get into a discussion. It's rare for any of us to come away with a changed mind, and it's certainly not uncommon for our debates to get a little irrational or emotional. (I've been known to refer to our president as "Satan W. Hitler" on a few such occasions.) This is okay, because for one thing we are not our nation's leaders. But also, this is okay because blurring the boundaries a little can really improve communication. Casualizing the discussion frees the participants to submit unpolished ideas into the debate, which can drive forward the more serious core of the conversation by contributing to the intellectual momentum. Any experienced brainstormer will tell you that rule #1 is "There are no bad ideas." (Actually, rule #1 is that you do not talk about Fight Club.) Even something farfetched may spark further thinking in a new and productive direction.

I know, I know. The myth is increasingly false that our country (or our world) is a meritocracy. Every so often, I get a little idealistic. It's unfortunate that idealism is so unnecessary – discouraged, in fact – in circles of influence, be they commercial or political.

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