Mon, March 3, 2003

In The Simpsons, the characters never age. (Somewhat untrue – certain story lines do build on past events, but in general the timeframe is fairly locked.) It's a brilliant decision because it allows the writers ample time to tackle whatever issues they want without the kids growing up or something. The other approach (á la Beverly Hills 90210 or Family Ties, to name a few) is for the kiddies to grow up. Which is somewhat necessary when your kiddies aren't animated, because the actors hit their growth spurts. In between lies James Bond 007, in which time moves forward but the character doesn't age. Sort of. It's not like the kids in the Vacation movies, where different actors play the part. The character himself actually changes as new agents assume the role of Agent 007 and therefore the name James Bond (and, oddly, the same martini preference).

It's a wise device because the change of actors is inevitable, and nobody likes trying to get used to "New Becky" or "New Aunt Viv." And, it removes the pressure to stay in the 1960s, which would certainly become tedious. But it also removes the "okay-we're-starting-fresh" feeling. Previous 007 adventures are in Bond's (or at least MI-6's) past in every new episode. So, my question is, why aren't the supervillains catching on?

When the baddies of Gotham City are plotting their devilish schemes, they are always planning on Batman. Even if neutralizing the Caped Crusader isn't part of the game plan, they at least have contingencies ready in case he makes the scene. And even the greenest novice supervillain has at least heard of Batman when he shows up to kick some ass.

But Bond never uses an alias! Whenever he shows up at a grand opening or gala function or seized property auction, he gives the name "Bond. James Bond." Realistically, the super agent wouldn't be nearly as famous as the movie character, so in the "world" of the Bond films, the average layman wouldn't be familiar with the name, but certainly those within the spy community would have heard of him. And the supercriminals would have to be blind not to know of him! Think about it: you're hell-bent on world domination and you're going to go about it in the most elaborate and theatrical manner possible. There's a British superspy out there with an unblemished record against just such a plot and you don't even know his name? Is there no grapevine within the evildoer community? No world domination newsletter? Seems like when "Bond. James Bond" shows up, it would set off some kind of red flag.

I'm not saying he needs a Bruce Wayne-style alter ego secret identity. But shouldn't he at least have the Jason Bourne-style safe deposit full of fake IDs? It just makes sense people!

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