Sat, August 1, 1998

I was once advised by a close friend, Joe Mulder , to "always be writing something – no matter how bad." Joe could never possibly have anticipated anything this bad. The following is a spec script for a Metamucil television commercial.

The general idea of the spot is this: we begin with a medium shot of a very stern-looking court judge, asking someone off-screen right-of-camera, "Has the jury reached a verdict?"

CUT TO: The meek and elderly Jury Forewoman, rising slowly to her feet, adjusting her reading glasses, and tugging at her off-white cardigan. "Yes, your honor," she replies, "we find the defendant guilty of murder in the first degree."

CUT TO: The defendant, slumped low in his chair. He is a low-life. He looks scruffy even though he is wearing a dark brown polyester suit for his court appearance. He has a stern and disappointed look on his face, along with a scraggly beard.

PAN LEFT TO: The Prosecuting Attorney, very straight-laced. Fine navy suit. Tie tied perfectly, every hair in place. He is a veteran prosecutor, a patriarch in the legal field. He is rising from his seat behind his table and retreiving his trenchcoat from the chair behind him. Also rising, alongside him, and stuffing legal pads into her attaché, is his Assistant, a young brunette in a smart-looking skirt-and-blouse outfit with matching blazer. As she rises, she says to the Prosecutor, "Well, you're a regular Perry Mason!" Turning his head slightly toward her he replies, "Well, maybe I'm Perry Mason, but I'm sure not regular."

CUT TO: The assistant's hand as she pulls a canister of Metamucil from her attaché, holding it out to the Prosecutor and beginning the SALES PITCH.

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